How can someone else put my baby down to sleep?
We've all heard the phrase “It takes a village.”
Personally? I'm a huge fan … and not because I can cart my kids off to grandma’s or let a friend change my baby's diaper all in the name of “It takes a village,” but because I truly believe that my children (and I) will be better humans for doing life alongside other positive influences.
(Will my hubby and I always be their #1 safe people? Yes. Absolutely).
Now, I don’t mean a literal village of people. As adults, we typically have a small handful of safe people in our lives. I’m talking about grandparents, an aunt, or a bestie that you'll likely be close to for years.
When I do life in the context of a village it allows me to …
learn other ways of doing things
make a mental note of how I’d rather not do things (and that’s okay, by the way)
be inspired with ideas for play, snacks and #momhacks
foster friendships with people in similar life stages or people who have walked this road before
Making the most of my village gives me the freedom to …
Go get groceries
Tag-team parenting with my bestie for a day
Not carry the weight of mom guilt because I know my child is with a safe person
Watch my friend’s children so that they can run errands
And it means that ...
I am not alone in my motherhood journey
I can date my spouse
Someone else can put my baby down
Already anticipating that solo grocery-shop during nap time or guilt-free girls’ night? Well, there are a few things that will go a long way in helping your baby get to sleep with another adult.
Here is how to have someone else put your baby to sleep successfully:
Teach your baby to sleep independently.
If baby is relying on being rocked, fed, sang to sleep, and so on, it’s going to make it a whole lot more emotionally difficult for you to leave them and more complicated for someone else to put them to sleep.
How do you teach independent sleep skills? Check out our free class here.
Keep the day calm, not letting them get overtired.
Overtired babies quickly derail by becoming dysregulated. This might manifest as hyperactivity, tantrums or tearful meltdowns. Things that are typically easy for your child to do might become difficult for them. Their focus, stamina, and ability to follow the lead of an adult quickly derails. I find it helpful to have 10 minute periods throughout the day where I am connecting one-on-one with my child. Fresh air, healthy food, calm activities and routine, routine, routine are always beneficial.
Not quite clear on what overtiredness looks like or why it happens? Check out our post here.
Make sure the person putting them to sleep is a safe person that they already know.
Have your safe person arrive early to interact with your children with you around. Give them space for adjustment and transition and the space to build a relationship without stepping in and rescuing.
Honour the routine.
Have your babysitter do what you always do. Routines are safe cues for our children. Communicate the bedtime routine effectively: Write it out, explain it, and have things clearly set out in their place. If you have a toddler, they can help show your person where their special sleeping spot is, or where they keep their jammies (etc.).
Wanting to set a healthy and happy bedtime routine for your little one? Check out our posts on the toddler, infant, and newborn bedtime routines.
We love being part of your mama village here at Little Winks Sleep. If you need more direction about how to get your baby to sleep independently, reach out! DM us on instagram at @littlewinkssleep or book a free 15 minute call on our website and we’d be happy to guide you through the process.
We’re in this together,
Anna